As the great economic ice age gradually thaws, the thoughts of governments, like those of lovers, turn naturally to the spring.
Or will spring be a little late? Does old hag winter still hold us in her icy grip?
Must gratification be deferred yet again?
Governments would like nothing better than to declare victory and move on.
Haven’t we done enough, for heaven’s sake?
Enough of austerity! Enough of boring bank regulation! To hell with those doom-mongers who say we are repeating merely the cycles of the past!
Let us leap off this Sisyphean treadmill.
Like one of Houdini’s great escapes, with a single bound we can be free!
There is no money trap. Or if you say there is, show us!
Anyway, even if you are right, long-term, let our successors worry about it. We have done enough for the time being, haven’t we? Enough to get through to the next election, the next central bank governor, the next bank bust.
We should start proclaiming the good news.
- Investors have enjoyed piggy-backing on our free money, so that’s one group that we can count on.
- They include a lot of wealthy old-age pensioners.
- Then there are all those house owners sitting on juicy capital gains. They’ll vote for us too.
But what we need now is to show the others how fortunate they are not to be even worse off. We must show we are really trying.
Call in the central bankers!
Let’s get in those central bankers – Janet, Haruhiko, Mario, Mark.
Hello. Now, you all know how you got your jobs don’t you….it was not in order to put your bleeding oars into our plans. Please don’t start bleating about your independence – get real. We know you have been trying really hard. Thanks for that. You have been complicit in the greatest monetary gamble of all time. We know you have put the future of our money, our societies, our children, in jeopardy. The risks that the bankers took before they all went bust are nothing to the risks you central bankers have taken with other people’s money. But what you did you did out of your own freedom, we never told you to do it, did we?
What happened to checks and balances and limited government when an agency can quadruple its balance sheet without any oversight? Who cares?
We thank you for financing our deficits free of charge; that’s been fantastic, great team work, we’ll remember that at bonus time. But the job’s not finished.
Next, an important point, this: you must stop your ears and hide your gaze from the pathetic bleating of developing countries – emerging markets as they laughingly call them. We are the advanced countries, and we know best. You promise to ride roughshod over their economies, their pleas for mercy, their protests? Good, we have Right on our side, as usual. Please lecture them from your lofty professorial heights on their duties – structural reforms flexible exchange rates and the rest – and to stop complaining.
Again, we thank you. It is necessary. “You can’t make an omelette….” Raison d’etat.
Very clever of you, Ben, to announce further expansionary interest rate policies behind the smokescreen of scaling back asset purchases – brilliant footwork. Everybody cheered you yesterday when instead of increasing your bloated balance sheet at the rate of $ 1.2 trillion you cut back to $ 960 billion. Nobody screamed, “NO!”
But now we are asking all of you to double up. Follow the lead of Janet and Ben. Push harder.
All together now, heave! We’ll get this bleeding rock rolling down hill if it kills us.
What’s that, Mario? You say you are worried about inflation – or Germans are? Don’t be irrational. And by the way, it’s not your job to set us conditions of any kind, e.g on fiscal deficits or bank reform. Stop going beyond your brief.
Get the whips out! We are warning you guys and gals – you have one last chance. Any further talk of tapering will get the culprit sent to detention.
Your failure can have only one consequence for you – you know what it is, don’t you? We don’t want to go there, do we?
“No sir!”
Now, nice and easy does it:
“Yes Sir, No Sir, three bags full, Sir!”
NEW PAPERBACK EDITIION NOW AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON AND ALL GOOD BOOKSTORES.
Back to normal?
In this season of good cheer, governments would love to declare victory and move on
As the great economic ice age gradually thaws, the thoughts of governments, like those of lovers, turn naturally to the spring.
Or will spring be a little late? Does old hag winter still hold us in her icy grip?
Must gratification be deferred yet again?
Governments would like nothing better than to declare victory and move on.
Haven’t we done enough, for heaven’s sake?
Enough of austerity! Enough of boring bank regulation! To hell with those doom-mongers who say we are repeating merely the cycles of the past!
Let us leap off this Sisyphean treadmill.
Like one of Houdini’s great escapes, with a single bound we can be free!
There is no money trap. Or if you say there is, show us!
Anyway, even if you are right, long-term, let our successors worry about it. We have done enough for the time being, haven’t we? Enough to get through to the next election, the next central bank governor, the next bank bust.
We should start proclaiming the good news.
But what we need now is to show the others how fortunate they are not to be even worse off. We must show we are really trying.
Call in the central bankers!
Let’s get in those central bankers – Janet, Haruhiko, Mario, Mark.
Hello. Now, you all know how you got your jobs don’t you….it was not in order to put your bleeding oars into our plans. Please don’t start bleating about your independence – get real. We know you have been trying really hard. Thanks for that. You have been complicit in the greatest monetary gamble of all time. We know you have put the future of our money, our societies, our children, in jeopardy. The risks that the bankers took before they all went bust are nothing to the risks you central bankers have taken with other people’s money. But what you did you did out of your own freedom, we never told you to do it, did we?
What happened to checks and balances and limited government when an agency can quadruple its balance sheet without any oversight? Who cares?
We thank you for financing our deficits free of charge; that’s been fantastic, great team work, we’ll remember that at bonus time. But the job’s not finished.
Next, an important point, this: you must stop your ears and hide your gaze from the pathetic bleating of developing countries – emerging markets as they laughingly call them. We are the advanced countries, and we know best. You promise to ride roughshod over their economies, their pleas for mercy, their protests? Good, we have Right on our side, as usual. Please lecture them from your lofty professorial heights on their duties – structural reforms flexible exchange rates and the rest – and to stop complaining.
Again, we thank you. It is necessary. “You can’t make an omelette….” Raison d’etat.
Very clever of you, Ben, to announce further expansionary interest rate policies behind the smokescreen of scaling back asset purchases – brilliant footwork. Everybody cheered you yesterday when instead of increasing your bloated balance sheet at the rate of $ 1.2 trillion you cut back to $ 960 billion. Nobody screamed, “NO!”
But now we are asking all of you to double up. Follow the lead of Janet and Ben. Push harder.
All together now, heave! We’ll get this bleeding rock rolling down hill if it kills us.
What’s that, Mario? You say you are worried about inflation – or Germans are? Don’t be irrational. And by the way, it’s not your job to set us conditions of any kind, e.g on fiscal deficits or bank reform. Stop going beyond your brief.
Get the whips out! We are warning you guys and gals – you have one last chance. Any further talk of tapering will get the culprit sent to detention.
Your failure can have only one consequence for you – you know what it is, don’t you? We don’t want to go there, do we?
“No sir!”
Now, nice and easy does it:
“Yes Sir, No Sir, three bags full, Sir!”
NEW PAPERBACK EDITIION NOW AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON AND ALL GOOD BOOKSTORES.
Written on December 19, 2013 at 11:26 pm, by robert
Categories: Homepage, News and Comment